


What the Water Gave Me

by EllieBear



Category: Veronica Mars (Movie 2014), Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Logan & Veronica AU Week 2020, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:15:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23332954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieBear/pseuds/EllieBear
Summary: Logan is no stranger to nightmares.  When Veronica starts sleeping with him he realizes that he's not the only one who suffers at night.AU canon divergent from end of S2/beginning of S3.TW: mention of rape (canon)TW: mention of abuse (canon)Written for the VM Fic Club LoVe AU Week 2020 Hurt/Comfort prompt.  Thanks to the moderators for their ongoing support and unwavering cheerleading for both writers and readers of VM fanfic.
Relationships: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars
Comments: 38
Kudos: 95
Collections: LV AU WEEK 2020





	What the Water Gave Me

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based on a request by an anonymous Guest through fanfiction.net about eight months ago. Not sure if this is what they meant to inspire, but I hope, whomever they are, it gives them some comfort of their own.

He thought he was the only one with nightmares so vivid it was if someone was reaching inside his body and pulling out his soul. Then Veronica started sleeping in his bed. The first time it happened, he bolted upright when she screamed, thinking a wounded animal had found its way into the hotel room. Instead, Logan found her, curled in a tight ball, wailing and muttering indecipherable words to no one. When he woke her, the terror kept her body shaking, and he hesitantly coaxed her into his arms. Her fight was obviously taken by whatever spirit had haunted her dreams, and she allowed him to bring her closer to him. Veronica’s skin was tacky from sweat, and she stuck to him as she pressed herself as close as she could physically manage. No words were exchanged -- there was no need. Logan knew Veronica’s daemons as well as he knew his own. They all had names: Lilly, Lianne, Aaron, Cassidy, Duncan. They even shared a few.

The next morning came the deflection, the hasty retreat without eye contact. He felt like a coward. He should have said something, offered to let her speak and ease her mind. She didn’t know yet that he shared her nightmares, the difference being they seemed to disappear when she stayed at night. This thought sent him into a spiral, first thinking, then obsessing over everything they had done that night, hoping beyond hope that he didn’t cause this reaction through his words or actions. Everything had seemed relatively normal. She showed up with Cho’s Pizza and a backpack, excited by the prospect of her father being away and with plans to spend the night. Round one took place on the couch while the pizza cooled. Round two was more intense, drawn-out slowly in his bed as he murmured his appreciation of her existence into her soft, smooth skin. None of what happened seemed out of the ordinary, but then again, if it had been, Logan knew that Veronica probably wouldn’t have said anything at the time, which just led him keeping a dull ache in his stomach that he had done something to trigger it.

Then suddenly it was all back to their old routine again a few hours after she left, as she resumed her habit of little texts during the day, quips and queries that he responded to quickly. Her father came back, and she stayed away that night, and then the next, but arrived on his doorstep early the following day after an all-night stake-out with coffee and a kiss and all seemed well again. She fell asleep for a while on his couch while they quietly watched a show about surfing vacations on the Croatian coast, her head leaning on his shoulder, her hand resting on his thigh. These were the moments that, for him, were almost as good as sex. Almost. Because nothing could quite match the breathy gasp of his name falling from her lips, seconds before an orgasm would shake her body. Nothing.

Time passed. Logan got used to the mewlings in the night. Not as bad as the grande-malle nightmare that first rocked them, he’d been able to calm her with a hand on her shoulder and soothing words near her ear. She never even opened her eyes, but her breathing returned to normal, and he knew it had passed. The next day she was always more generous with her affections as if her subconscious is thanking him for helping her, even if she may not remember. Poured him a coffee from the carafe when she made her own, gave him a kiss on the cheek as she placed it on the table. Stopped by the beach while he surfed with Dick with a sandwich from his favorite sub shop. Overt expressions of love were not her style, and Logan was more than happy to accept the quiet ones she offered.

A week after school began, there was another one. Big. Bigger than Logan had ever experienced. The movement on the bed roused him from his sleep and it took him a moment to comprehend what he saw.

Veronica sitting up, shaking, her hand passing frantically over her bare arm, working so fiercely her skin was red. She was in his new Hearst t-shirt and sweat-soaked down her back and through the fabric. He wondered how long she had been in her trance doing this action.

“Veronica,” he whispered, hand reaching slowly to rest on her shoulder.

“Won’t go away,” she muttered, switching arms but working with the same intensity. “Won’t come off.”

“What won’t, Veronica?”

He pulled himself up closer and looked down at her arms to see nothing but the inflamed skin.

“Blood. Can’t you see it? There’s so much blood.” 

“I can’t see it, Veronica, but if you can, I believe you. Where did it come from?”

“Everyone,” her voice was strangled. “It came from Lilly. And then me. And Cassidy. And it won’t come off. It’ll never come off.”

Logan placed his hand over hers as she worked, but she didn’t stop moving, carrying his hand as she worked. He contemplated gripping her hand hard enough to stop her but thought better of it.

“Veronica, you need to wake up. You’re acting out a nightmare, and it’s time you wake up.”

“I am awake.” Her eyes darted quickly to his and back to focus on her arms. “I am awake. Help me, Logan. I can’t get it off.”

“Shit.”

He released her, dragging his hands down his face. Help her. How the hell was he supposed to help her? When his nightmares came, he would wake up and take a drink or a valium or smoke a blunt or sometimes do a combination of all three. None of those options seemed appropriate for Veronica. 

“Okay. I’ll help you. Hang on…”

Scrambling to the bathroom, he ignored the fact that he was still naked, hastily turning on the taps to the bathtub. Glancing out the door, he checked on Veronica as he waved his hand under the water and gauged the temperature. The massive whoosh of the water echoed as steam began to rise in the coolness of the room.

Leaving the tub to fill, Logan walked back to Veronica, bending, so he was in her line of vision. She had moved on to her hands and was frantically rubbing her palm with her thumb, trying to remove an imaginary stain.

“Hey.” His hand rested on the small of her back, and she met his eyes. “Can I help you now?”

“Yes.” Veronica’s head bobbed up and down, but her eyes still held very little recognition that she was even in the present.

Cupping his hands over hers caused her to stop her frenzied movements, and he inhaled slowly, deeply, hoping she would follow suit. She did, and he exhaled, pursing his lips to allow the air to leave gently. He was happy to see her do the same, and he nodded.

“Good. Will you let me take you somewhere safe?”

“Yes.”

At her acceptance, Logan pulled back the covers and gingerly slipped his arm under her knees, wrapping his arm around her waist. When she was against him, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her forehead pressed to his clavicle, and he gave her a little bounce to adjust her securely in his grasp before walking back to the bathroom. 

The giant jacuzzi tub was almost filled, and Logan stepped up the short steps, pausing near the edge. Veronica kept her face buried against his skin, and he realized the only way to get her in was to get in himself. Slowly, he stepped into the warm water, watching it displace and splash over the edges as he lowered Veronica down. Feeling herself in the water, she released him, pulling her knees up to her chest and letting the water surround her. Turning off the water, Logan lowered himself down behind her.

“Turn around and give me your hands.”

She did as he asked, letting her hands float up to the surface, and he smiled, taking the soap from the dish on the ledge and lathering his hands. Taking her hand in his, Logan skimmed her skin, the soap sliding across, creating a glistening streak of bubbles. Gently, tenderly, he continued to sweep his hand back and forth, up and down from the tips of her fingers all the way up to the edge of his shirt. All the while, he watched her face soften as her eyes followed his movements. Gone was the horror, the fear, and back was his Veronica. 

Lowering her hand under the water, he washed off the bubbles before taking the other side and repeating the process. This time, instead of watching his movements, Veronica kept her eyes fixed on his face, her eyes becoming glassy as they focused. When he was done, he lowered her hand under the water and splashed off the remaining bubbles.

She nodded once more in understanding and paused, as if considering what to do next, before both hands dove under the water, pulling his t-shirt up and off her body. Dropping it on the edge of the tub, she gave him a small smile and spun herself slowly around, her naked back now facing him as she pulled her knees up to her chin once more.

Realizing his cue, Logan floated forward, his hands coming up to move her hair over her shoulder, tucking it securely to one side. Taking the soap in his hand, he lathered his palms and began to lightly make circles of bubbles along her back. As he worked, Veronica’s shoulders softened from their hunch, and Logan gathered his courage to speak.

“Tell me more about your nightmare.”

Veronica’s back contracted under his palms as her breath hitched and for a moment, he regretted bringing it up.

“I…I woke up in Shelly Pomeroy’s guest bedroom just like the night of…” her words lagged, and Logan continued to rub her back, trying to pass her some courage through his fingertips. “I woke up, and I realized I was sitting in a pool of blood. I put my hands in it and realized it was my blood. Or so I thought until I looked under the covers beside me, and I found Lilly lying dead beside me. And then I thought it was her blood until I looked out the window and saw Cassidy, lying face down on the concrete patio like he had fallen off the roof and then when I looked down at my hands again, there was even more blood, and all I wanted to do was get it off.”

A little gasp escaped her and Logan’s stomach tightened. Keeping himself together, he started to wash the soap off her back.

“There is no blood on your hands, Veronica. None of what happened is remotely your fault.”

“I know that. In my head, I know that, but sometimes it just feels like I’m somehow marked, you know? Like the universe decided that for some reason, I deserved to have all this happen to me. And try as I might, I can’t for the life of me figure out what I did to make all these horrible, horrible things come my way.”

Logan wrapped his arms around her, pressing his chest to her back as his legs slid under hers. For a split second, her body tensed, and he kissed the back of her head carefully, trying to reassure her that his intentions were not sexual. Being naked in the water with her now was a catharsis, not a turn on, and he needed her to know.

“Nothing. You did nothing wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong, and Aaron still beat me. Lilly didn’t do anything wrong, and he still killed her. Cassidy didn’t do anything wrong, and Woody still molested him. You didn’t do anything wrong, and Cassidy still raped you. It’s a horrible, vicious cycle Veronica, and I hate that we’re a part of it, but you didn’t do anything wrong to be included in it. And frankly, neither did I.”

At that, Veronica shifted and relaxed slightly back into his arms, and Logan pulled her closer, kissing her temple as she leaned against him.

“You know, if you keep talking like that, you’re going to ace your psychology class this semester.”

“I am my own class in juvenile delinquency.” He chuckled and kissed her temple again, causing her to giggle. “Going to knock that presentation out of the park.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She slapped his arm with her fingertips. 

Logan burrowed his face in her hair and slid back in the tub, taking her with him as the water sloshed out of the tub. He stopped once he hit the back and leaned back, resting his head on edge. Veronica shifted, making herself comfortable, and he wrapped his legs around her waist as she laughed. It made his heart happy to hear her laugh, and he shifted his arms to wrap around her chest, holding her close.

“I may have made some misguided choices in my life, but falling in love with you was not one of them, Veronica Mars.”

She stroked her fingers over the damp hair on his arms wordlessly for a minute, and he focused on her actions, not her lack of words.

“Ditto,” she finally whispered.

Giving in to the silence, Logan closed his eyes, enjoying the peace of just holding her, naked and warm in his arms. She sighed and shifted onto her side, her head laying against his chest, and he stroked her wet hair. There were many moments this summer with Veronica that he wished would go on forever. This turned out to be one of them.

Just as he was on the brink of falling asleep, Veronica shifted again and spoke.

“Logan?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you keep doing what you were doing?”

“Stroking your hair?”

“No. Washing me?”

His brain snapped too, and he opened his eyes, looking down at her laying against him and kissed her crown. Reaching for the soap, he untangled himself from her, and she sat up, her back still towards him. Her eyes darkened as she tossed a small look over her shoulder, igniting a fire deep in his belly that he knew shouldn't be there, but was powerless to resist.

When his fingers connected with her hip under the water, she gasped, and he continued up the side of her torso, under her arm and raised it over her head. She did the same to the other arm, and she rested her hands on her head, elbows out to the side. Palms lathered, Logan's palms slid across her back, following her arms up to the wrist and then down to her shoulders. Goosebumps prickled her skin, and his hands, wrinkled from being in the water so long, caught them as he caressed her.

Her head dropped back, lolled back and forth, and she sighed. "That feels so nice."

When his hands proceeded around her rib cage and passed under the curve of her breasts, she gasped as he paused to lather the soft peaks, her nipples hardened under the smooth soap.

Trailing down under the water, he continued down her belly, the soap now disappearing from his palm. He let his hand fall to cup her sex, and she moaned.

Pressing his chest to her soapy back, he pulled her against him, the curve of her buttock coming in contact with his semi-hard cock. Eyes closed, Logan contemplated what he wanted to do next.

Releasing her, he brought his hands up through the water, cupping it to rinse the soap from her skin. She lowered her hands, and he continued as she sat quietly. When he was done, he stood, grabbing a towel from the pile and wrapped it around his waist. Grabbing another one, he spread it out wide, and Veronica smiled, rising from the water and stepping into his arms. He wrapped the towel around her and kissed the tip of her nose, making her face wrinkle in response.

"What's that face for?"

"Nothing. I'm just surprised."

"Surprised by what?"

"Surprised by you."

Logan's head jerked back, incredulously. "And why are you surprised by me?"

"I just figured that would lead to some form of sex in the bathtub."

"Ah, so you're surprised by my restraint."

"Yes. I am."

"Hmmm." 

His fingers threaded through hers, wrinkled and rough, and he led her back into the bedroom, pulling up the duvet like a tent, and waved her in. With a crooked smile, she grasped the top of her towel, unfurling it quickly and dropped it to the ground. Then, with a laugh, she dove under the waiting covers, he cute pink bottom wriggling down into the sheets on her side of the bed, and he jumped in after her, causing her to squeal as he pulled her close to his cold, wet body.

They rolled around together, finding just the right fit as he spooned her, one arm slung over her waist, the other snaked under her pillow, his soft cock pressed against her ass cheeks.

"Well, you have me back in bed. What are we going to do now?"

Logan kissed the back of her head and smiled. "Sleep."

"Are you sure?" She wriggled her ass against him, and he huffed in annoyance.

"I'm not letting you do this, Veronica. Not tonight."

Silence. He knew she hated it when he called her out, but sometimes it needed to be done.

"Look, Bobcat, as much as I love having sex with you, I'm not letting you drown your feelings in orgasms. Not after what happened."

Still silence. Logan breathed a long sigh and kissed the back of her head.

"I love you. And I'm fairly sure you love me. So let's try and get some sleep before you have to go tomorrow morning."

He took her shimmying her ass away from him while staying firmly in his arms as a yes, and he smiled to himself at having "won" for now and closed his eyes.

It was morning when he opened them again to find Veronica gone from his arms. It figured. He thought that they had an emotional breakthrough, but he must have been wrong. Again.

Then he smelled it: bacon. Sitting up, he rubbed his eyes, focusing on the frosted glass panels on the door. With the morning light streaming through the main suite, he could see the outline of a diminutive figure on the other side, walking back and forth.

He smiled and quickly got out of bed, pausing to pull on a fresh pair of boxers from his drawer. Opening the doors, he was greeted by Veronica, standing in a fluffy white robe near the small table near the balcony, a piece of bacon in one hand and a coffee in the other.

"Good morning."

"Good morning!"

Coming over, he noticed a place setting and a cup of coffee filled for him, the plumes of steam rising and swirling, catching the sunlight.

"Since I can't make you the traditional Mars family breakfast here, I ordered ten orders of bacon and three of waffles. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all. Forty pieces of bacon is a good, healthy start to the day.” He lifted the lid on the tray of bacon and extracted one. “Honestly, I thought you'd be gone by now."

"Do you want me to? Because…" Veronica put down her cup and took a step.

Panic rose in Logan, and he put his hands up to halt her retreat. "No! That's not what I mean. I'm happy! Ecstatic even."

"Okay. Good. I hope you feel that way when you see me tomorrow. And the day after that. And the day after that.”

“Veronica, I will always be happy to see you. You could be here one day or a hundred and it wouldn’t matter because I will always be thrilled that you are around.”

“Good. That’s good to hear, because I would like to be around more. Like, a lot more. Like, every day more.”

“I….I’m sorry, but I’m really confused, Veronica…”

She huffed, putting her hands on her hips. “I mean, I want to move in, Logan. With you. Here.”

“You want to move in?” Despite himself, Logan’s heart leapt at the prospect, even if his head couldn’t fully wrap itself around the fact that she was proposing this arrangement.

“Yes. I want to move in if that’s okay?” Veronica bit her lip, her eyes taking on that pleading puppy dog looks that he was helpless to reject, not that he ever would. “Last night, I stayed up long after you fell asleep, and I realized that you make me feel happier and safer than I’ve felt...well...since I don’t know when. And this summer, the best part of my day was the parts I spent with you.”

She paused, her eyes fixed on the carpet. “Then last night, I realized that you just understand me, maybe better than I understand myself sometimes if that makes sense. I...I love you, Logan, and I want us to try and make this work, and I think the best way for us to do that is to move in together. Unless you think it’s a terrible idea…”

“No! I mean, yes!” He laughed, stepping forward to take her hands as she looked up at him, a wrinkle of worry across her brow. “No, I don’t think it’s a terrible idea, and yes, I think we should do it.”

Lifting her off her feet, Logan pressed his lips to hers, hard, and she reciprocated, grabbing his hair in her hands as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Pulling away, he leaned his forehead to hers and chuckled.

“Can I get a kevlar jacket for when we tell your dad?”

“Oooooh. Kevlar.” She draped her arms around his shoulders and lowered her lips, kissing the pulse point near his neck. “You’d look hot in that.”

“What am I going to do with you, Veronica?”

She nipped at his collar, sending a shock of arousal through his body, setting his cock to twitch. Veronica must have felt it from her position pressed against him, and she giggled.

“I think you know exactly what to do with me.”

Pivoting, Logan slowly made his way back to the bedroom with Veronica wrapped around him. They never made it to classes that morning, choosing instead to celebrate their new arrangement, naked and alone, together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Chikabiddy for her last-minute beta skills with this work. It's been a while since I've thrown anything together. Her help was invaluable!
> 
> Title from the song "What the Water Gave Me" by Florence and the Machine.


End file.
